The Day My World Changed ~ Part 3

It has taken me a few weeks to muster up the strength to write the continuation of, 'The Day My World Changed' parts 1 and 2. As you read this, I'm sure it will become evident to you the strength I needed to do this. From the comments I have received thus far, I see that I have touched many lives in the process. I hope to touch many more. I know even more so now than I did before, that there are those out there who need to hear what I have to say. May this impact you in such a way that it will make a difference in your life. For those of you who may have been abused in one way or another, to know that you are not alone. And for those of you who know of someone who has been abused, to say a prayer for them and reach out and care. And for those of you who haven't been, you are blessed. And for those of you who don't know of anyone who has been, please say a prayer for those who battle this. And for those of you who really don't care, may God help you.

I got into the car,

And closed the door.

A thought came to mind,

"What am I even here for"?

I ran away from home,

To get rid of the strife.

But living like this,

Is no kind of life.

My friend who was driving,

I tried to explain,

And tell them what happened,

But it was to no gain.

All I got was, "Oh well,

You're not there anymore".

There voice was so cold,

And hard to the core.

Did I just hear right?

Doesn't he even care?

As I looked at him,

All I got was a glare.

I sat there in silence,

Not wanting to speak.

I felt like my whole world,

Was more dismal and bleak.

Is anybody out there?

Does anybody care?

Would anyone want to help me?

Would anyone even dare?

He drove to the downtown,

YMCA,

And paid for a room,

For the night to stay.

I ran to the bathroom,

And got in the shower.

And turned on the water,

And stayed for an hour.

I felt so filthy,

And wanted relief.

From this horrible feeling,

Of sickening grief.

I scrubbed and I scrubbed,

And I scrubbed even more.

I then had to stop,

For my skin was now sore.

I went in the other,

Room and sat down.

My heart was so heavy,

With no smile... just a frown.

The look on my face,

Must have said it all.

He asked if I missed home,

And if I wanted to make a call.

From the way he had acted,

When I first ran away.

I couldn't have contact,

With my family... No way!!

To call my family,

Would be a delight.

Not a lot of love there,

But it's better than all this fright!

My sister answered,

And said, "Where are you?"

She's so glad to hear,

From me out of the blue.

He was right there,

Hearing every word she said.

The way that he looked,

Filled me with more dread.

He motioned to me,

Not to tell her at all,

As to where I was at,

And to end the call.

He hung up on me,

So the call they can't trace.

And here I sat crying,

In this horrible place.

I didn't sleep well,

That night.

Knowing my chance of escape,

Was now out of sight.

He said in the morning,

"Get dressed let's get out,

I'm taking you home now",

He said with a shout.

I couldn't get dressed,

Fast enough, for you see,

I wanted so bad,

From this hell to be free!

He drove me to,

The corner of my street.

Then just left and took off,

My family not to meet.

My Dad called the cops,

And the search was than started,

To try and find the two,

Who are downright cold hearted.

We searched and we searched,

And we searched even more.

But the apartment I couldn't find,

That place filled with horror.

As time went on,

I wasn't feeling very good.

I didn't know what was wrong,

I just didn't feel like I should.

I would feel fine one minute,

Than the next be so sick.

It would come out of nowhere,

And just hit me so quick.

A test was then taken,

To see what was wrong.

To get the results,

Didn't take very long.

I had to go in,

For a doctor to see.

And get an exam,

To see what it could be.

The doctor came in,

And said without a doubt,

You are 6 1/2 months pregnant,

I just wanted to shout!

My step mom found out,

And she was irate!

She had then made the plans,

For a terrible fate.

She told me that she,

Planned an abortion for me.

And there is no way out,

No way to be free.

"What an abortion"?

It sounds like its bad.

Just the feeling I'm getting,

Is making me sad.

A week later on,

To the hospital I was sent.

And wheeled into a room,

An ultrasound machine, and a gent.

I laid on the bed,

Wanting to see,

What the man was watching,

While he put a needle in me.

I asked him,

"What is on that screen"?

He looked at me,

And said very mean,

"Shut up and be quiet,

You don't need to see!"

It hurt to have,

The needle in there!

But I couldn't say anything,

He didn't care.

The fluid was taken,

From my watery sac,

And a saline solution,

Was injected back.

They gave me an IV,

And put me in a room.

Everything around me,

Just felt like doom and gloom.

Two days later,

The pain was so bad,

It was the worst,

That I've ever had.

Six nurses came in,

And 'round my bed they did stand,

Three on each side,

To give each other a hand.

I felt the urge,

That I needed to push.

But the nurses just yelled,

And said, "What's your rush"?

I then looked down,

And to my dismay,

Were tiny little feet,

Coming out halfway.

Then there were the arms,

So tiny and small,

I counted toes and fingers,

She had them all.

But her head was still stuck,

And I wanted her out.

But when I tried to push,

All the nurses did was shout.

"Why are you pushing"?

"What is the need?"

All I could think was,

What a horrible deed!!

One grabbed an arm,

Then just let it drop.

Then another grabbed a leg,

And just let it flop.

The reason they did this,

I wondered why,

Was to see if she's living,

Or if she would die.

Her head then popped out,

I felt pain relief,

But then it was nothing,

But horror and grief!!

The cord was then cut,

And she was now out.

No movement she made,

I knew without doubt...

She wasn't alive,

No crying at all.

A doctor than came,

From down the hall.

He entered the room,

And over to me,

With a look on his face,

As cold as can be.

He got a small bowl,

And without a care,

Took her tiny body,

And placed it in there.

Head and feet first,

All scrunched up so tight,

Then took her away,

Out of my sight.

I started to bleed,

As if to no end.

Got wheeled into OR,

For my insides to mend.

I woke up next day,

And a doctor came in.

Asked how I was doing,

With a smirk and a grin.

He then started telling me,

The problems she had.

It all made my heart,

Much more heavier and sad.

She would of been blind,

From STD's I received,

I laid there and cried,

And my heart it just grieved.

Six shots in my stomach,

And four in my back.

Compassion and mercy,

They really did lack.

He then went on,

She's half black and half white,

It was the guys that raped me,

That horrific night!

I gave her a name,

As pretty as can be.

Rebecca Hope was my choice,

And someday I shall see,

Her dancing in Heaven,

With Jesus above,

Enfolded in His arms,

And resting in His love.

There are many times in life when we are wronged in one way or another. Some are worse than others. How are we going to react to these offenses that come our way? Are we going to harbor anger, bitterness, rage, revenge, hatred... the list goes on and on. Or, are we going to forgive the person/people who have wronged us?

Colossians 3:13 ~ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Have you ever wronged someone? We all have. We are all guilty because we are all human beings and we make mistakes. It's what you do in regards to the offense that makes the difference. I was mad for the longest time as to what happened to me in this time in my life. For years I carried it around with me. The anger, the bitterness, the resentment, the sadness of losing a child in such an awful way, on and on it goes. But what good does it do me to harbor all of this inside? None at all.

I chose years ago to give it all to God. There was no way I could get rid of it all on my own. No matter how I tried, it was always there. But once I put it all in God's Hands, that's when I experienced freedom. Freedom from all of the hurt and loss. He gave me joy instead and peace. I know someday I will be reunited with my daughter and it will be a glorious day indeed!

If you have been abused or hurt in some way, please choose to forgive. Life is so short and it's not worth the time or effort it takes to live miserably. I'm so glad I chose to forgive. I wouldn't trade the freedom I experience for anything!

I hope through sharing this that I have touched many lives in a positive way. May God bless you!